Dealing respectfully with your loved one (Part II- Relationship killers to avoid: Suspicion )

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Thought to steer by:

People do not only leave relationships because they have been cheated on, sometimes they leave because they feel disrespected.

Relationships are built on trust and mutual respect. One way to deal respectfully with your loved one is to avoid treating them with bias¹ and suspicion. Letting bias and suspicion influence one’s attitude as a relationship partner ultimately destroys the relationship, as they cause one to act with mistrust towards a loved one, and invariably treat them with disrespect. When people feel they are being disrespected and are being treated poorly as a result of that disrespect, they will leave the relationship at some point.

Suspicion in relationships

The Cambridge dictionary defines suspicion as “a belief or idea that something may be true’. It may also mean doubt or a lack of trust. A naturally suspicious person questions the motives of others and doubts their intentions, and when these traits are brought into a relationship, they spell doom for the relationship.

Point for reflection (for singles)

When starting out in a relationship, first give your loved one the benefit of the doubt. Give your loved one the opportunity to demonstrate that he/she is a person of integrity. Unjustified suspicion ruins relationships²

Ways to reduce suspicion in relationships and marriage

One way to reduce suspicion in a relationship/marriage is to clearly spell out from the start of your relationship/marriage your expectations and discuss with your loved one behaviours or actions that may cause you to doubt their integrity and intentions in the relationship/marriage.

It might also help to observe certain etiquettes online in order to engender trust such as:

1. Using pictures of yourself and your loved one as your display pictures on your personal social media platforms (e.g WhatsApp, Snapchat, etc)
2. Being polite and making regular references to your relationship partner/ spouse, when approached with an amorous advance in a private chat in order to let the other party know that you are not emotionally available.
3. For married couples, you can add a tagline to your Display picture that provides information about your marital status. For example: Marcus, loving husband to Trisha and father to three amazing children.

References

¹ For a full discussion on bias, see below ‘Season 4: Episode 8 – Dealing respectfully with your spouse (Relationship killers to avoid: Bias)’

²2 Samuel 10: 1 – 19