Thought to consider:
It is not every man or woman that turns up at your doorstep, seeking for a relationship that needs an audience in your life. This is where discernment comes in because some people come, looking right and saying all the right things until something happens that reveals their true character.
As a single you might find three or four people clamoring for your attention at the same time and all of them claiming to be the one. If you are wondering how to deal with such a dilemma, here are a few lessons you can glean from the wisdom of Solomon, the King of Israel. He was once faced with the arduous task of deciding who the real mother of a living child was, with each woman claiming that the child was hers.
To start with, how does a child even have two biological mothers? By the laws of nature, that idea is inconceivable, so it had to be one was telling the truth and the other was lying…but it was hard to tell. It took access to knowledge beyond the physical realm to resolve the dilemma. It took going beyond face value judgment to unearth the truth as to who the real mother was, and the truth was unearthed by posing a simple test that sounded as ridiculous as the claim both women made to the child1. Like Solomon, you may suddenly find yourself confronted with a situation where many people turn up at the same time, all wanting to have a relationship with you. When that happens, how do you resolve the dilemma? Based on Solomon’s case, here are a few things you might want to consider:
Tip 1: Pray for wisdom: Ask God for insight into the real character of the person you were dealing with. If King Solomon had relied merely on his physical reasoning, it would have been difficult to come up with a test that exposed the real mother of the child. Recognize that sometimes appearances can be deceptive, and so ask God for discernment and the ability to make good character judgements2.
Tip 2: Be ready to discern motives: Rather than jump headlong into a relationship, be willing to test everything you hear. Engage in conversation with your potential love interests and find out if any of them truly aligns with you in terms of values, beliefs and mindset. In addition, be willing to ask questions and verify your love interests’ claims as to who they are and what they do – this is especially important in the digital era we live in where embellishments are becoming common place. The Queen of Sheba heard of Solomon’s legendary wisdom and came to Israel to verify what she had heard about him- adopt the attitude of an investigator3.
Tip 3: Be patient as you seek facts: Make friends with your potential love interests, and let them know you are willing to be friends with them before considering a relationship with them. Proposing friendship to them is also a subtle way of getting to know their character – it lets you see first hand how they react when things don’t go their way and assess their level of maturity. Proposing friendship is also a filtering process that helps to whittle down the numbers as the more impatient ones are likely to opt out early, when faced with the prospect of a friendship rather than an immediate relationship.
References:
1 1 Kings 3:16 -28
2 James 1: 5 -6
3 1 Kings 10:1 -25
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